Ask The Fallacy Nerd

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Boddingtons Pub Ale

BigFat&Bald: Dude, I had the best beer ever over the weekend.
StrawMan45: Yeah? What was it called?

BigFat&Bald: Bud - Budding - ton - Uh... Bu - Budding - Buddingtons.
StrawMan45: What? Buddingtons?!?
BigFat&Bald: Yeah, Bud - Budding - Buddingtons.
StrawMan45: Budweiser?
BigFat&Bald: Yeah that's it.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Fee Samples

Here is an excerpt from my Property final at the Awesomeville Legal Acedemy.

Obviously, there will be a number of legal and typographical errors because this is taken from my actual answer from my final exam last week.

Hypo: Ernie Engineer has loaned out a number of NES games and the NES console to his stockbroker friend Larry. Larry took possession of the games 3 years ago. Ernie is feeling some doubt that Larry will ever return his games. In particular, Ernie would like to have his “Techmo Superbowl” and “Qbert” games returned. Larry acknowledges that the games belong to Ernie, but refuses to return them. Craft a threatening letter to Larry and explain to him the possible consequences of his actions.

(Assume Larry has not possessed for the required statutory period)

Answer: Larry, please return my games and console. If you do not return them soon I will be forced to bring an action for Replevin. Failing that, I may also bring an action of Ejectment.

As I am sure you are aware of, I own the chattels in fee simple and refuse to allow you to gain title to my chattels via adverse possession.

On a dark summers night three years ago, I granted you a temporary possessory estate in a term of 2 years. Perhaps you may be confused and believe that I granted you a life estate in the chattels. Even if I did grant you a life estate I maintain that it was granted pur autrie vie and the measuring life was Walter Mathau. Seeing how he passed away a while back, my reversionary interest has been exercised. Therefore your life estate, as you should know, reverts to me in fee simple.

Also, I would like to inform you that your quest for adverse possession is destined to fail. The days I visit your house and played with the chattels interrupted your possession. Therefore, your possession has not been continuous. Also, since I allowed you to borrow them your possession is not really adverse at all.

And don’t even try to contend that they were an inter vivos gift. I never intended to give you the chattels. Oh and by keeping them for so long, I will never convey them to you as an inter vivos gift. And don’t bet on a gift causa mortis either.

As you can see the chattels are mine… Please don’t force me to end your supposed life estate the hard way.

Exam # 867

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

I'm telling you for the last time

I'm really getting tired of all this talk about climate variation and greenhouse effect global warming. It's everywhere: CNN, Amnesty International, Y2K Doomsayers, and now to a TV near you, Discovery HD.

I think we should nuke the polar ice caps just so we can eliminate them from conversation.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

You see me roll on my Segway

I know in my heart they think I'm White and Nerdy
Segway debate has been settled... Need more evidence???

Thursday, December 07, 2006

An honest day's work WHILE impressing women

I was returning some Christmas ornaments to Target yesterday and happened upon quite a lucrative scheme. See, I bought my merchandise at the Awesome County Target, but just happened to be in neighboring Sweet County when I took it back. I discovered that not only are you refunded for the purchase price, but you are also refunded the sales tax -- the sales tax is defined per county in Ohio.

So what? Awesome County sales tax is 5.5%. Sweet County sales tax is a blistering 7.0%. I made a profit of like $0.63!

So here's my plan: I fill my Hyundaizine with all the Awesomeville Target merchandise it can fit. I haul it one exit down the Awesomeville Parkway to the Sweet Shopping Center, "return" the things I bought, and laugh all the way home with my profits.

In fact, I can keep making these trips all day long, and supplemented with my earnings from Delaware mud, I'll never have to work again. Plus, the check-out girl at Sweet Target is pretty cute -- she tells me I should come over to her place and try out her segway some time.

How to NOT impress women

Don't ride a Segway...

I know this topic is a blast from the past, but what would expect from an old tired law student. Besides twowrongs said something about a segue. Not to mention Strawman spotted one of these things on the Awesomeville Parkway...

But the next person I meet that has had sexual relations after riding one of these things will be the first.

I mean is walking really that bad?

Oh and the Hoverround is so much better.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Famous Championship Awesomeville Baseball Team of 1998

Lawyer question for our Awesomeville Legal Academy kids and neighboring districts -- and trust me, it's purely hypothetical:

It's a sunny, November afternoon at the baseball diamond and it looks like your team is about to cap off its best season ever by winning the big championship game. The shortstop, and team captain, suggests that a little 8th inning celebration is in order -- he wants to pour the remaining Gatorade on the coach.

The centerfielder agrees and helps the mastermind with the heavy lifting. They do the dirty work as you laugh hysterically behind the coach. But wait. They have run away and left you standing there with the empty Gatorade jug.

Caught red handed. No biggie, that's traditional celebration, right?


The coach was 65 years old. It was a cold, November day. The Gatorade froze the coach, he ended up catching pneumonia, and died.

Now to the legal stuff. Who will be charged with the homicide, and does he have a chance in court? More importantly, which person on the team is obligated to feel the remorse for the rest of his pathetic life?

Saturday, December 02, 2006


What up peeps?

This is my first post. Consider me an outsider. I'm not a law student and I don't live in Awesomeville (just slightly north)...but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I'm one crazy mofo. I have become the same person that I still taunt -- I got up at 4:15am the day after Thanksgiving to go to Best Buy and grab some maja 'tronics deals. It was an enlightening experience. Consider this - there were 400 people in line in front of me. What's worse, half of them were on their cell phones. That's right. At 4:30am, folks were chatting it up.

This is a good segue point...

I've been traveling for my job more this past year. I'm a freelancing horticulturist, specializing in pomology (isn't Wikipedia great?!). Anyone else annoyed by traveling "business people" who think their Bluetooth headset is a permanent appendage? What the shhh is that about? Everybody wants to feel important. Oh, and those same people are probably the very ones who wouldn't think twice to talk on their phones in a public bathroom when they're going # 1, 2, or God forbid, 3. Yes, this does happen more frequently than you think.

Keep it classy.

P.S. I got a sweet deal at Best Buy that day...a Motorolla Bluetooth headset for $15. Sweet Baby James!