Popcorn for Prez.

Awesomeville Legal Academy Student Government elections are coming soon.

The hallways are replete with people wearing suits and handing out free brownies and highlighters with their names stuck to them.

I guess my problem is that I am 103 years old… I just can’t relate to their message.

I fail to see how putting a food vending machine that sells microwave chicken wings has made my time at school better. I guess they did make at least one positive change last year. Law students are allowed to park in the faculty lot instead of the garage 100 yards away.

Chicken wings and no walking… Sounds like a lethal combo to me. Next we might get a deep fryer in every classroom or doughnuts for raising your hand.

Oh, to make matters worse, I have succumbed to some sort of Pavlovian thought control. At Sam’s Club on Saturday when I was offered a free slice of cheese, I asked the woman what she was going to do this year if elected…

Edna had some excellent ideas regarding lean pockets, color-coded seating charts and the “Socratic Death Wheel.”