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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Skipping Class... Saving Absences...

Law School is a juvenile endeavor.

The professors treat you like children. You are forced to attend class and only get a set amount of absenses a semester.

That's why I spent Friday evening through Sunday morning working on some new class evading technology. I skipped class because of a side prject that had a breakthrough...

Funded by 10 million of my own funds, the Awesomeville Evil Scientist Society has been developing a new class-bot. This machine is similar to a bust that you would see in a museum. When set behind a laptop screen this bust gives the appearance that a student is intently paying attention in class. Meanwhile, the student can be at the local bar trying to pick up members of the opposite sex by talking about being a law student.

The artificial intelligence is quite advanced, among the features are:

Claiming to have passed when the student it is posing as is called on.
Blushing when the topics of abortion and same sex marriage are mentioned.
Shouting out random answers about the Rule Against Perpetuities.

We are currently working out the last few kinks. Unfortunately, the class-bot weighs 3 tons, uses 8 megawatts of power and costs 2.5 million dollars...


  • Two. Point. Five. Million. Dollars!?!? You... you fat, bloated, idiot! You worm. You stupid... Ahh!

    By Anonymous Ren, at Mon Nov 13, 01:20:00 AM 2006  

  • $2.5 mil isn't that steep...have you been in a law school class? Trust me--it's well worth the investment!

    By Anonymous Lenie, at Mon Nov 13, 07:29:00 PM 2006  

  • blushing at the mention of abortion and gay marriage? if this is going to be a law student it needs to be enraged. the mere mention of the topics would set off any law student i have met because someone might want to take away the right to abortion or same sex marriage if we discuss either issue.

    By Anonymous strawpoll85, at Mon Nov 13, 10:26:00 PM 2006  

  • Unfortunately, the rage algorithm is 2 years from production use.

    Blushing is the best we could do with the current technology.

    There is some promise in the use of nuclear technology combined with baby seal blood, that can allow the class-bot to display low levels of rage. We are thinking of selling this as an option to the class-bot.

    By Blogger RedHerring45, at Wed Nov 15, 08:38:00 AM 2006  

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